002 | Why Bother?

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I truly reject what the ‘self-help’ world has become.

Unfortunately, the space has filled itself to the brim with sophist gurus, cute affirmations, and pithy Facebook quotes, leaving many of its best ideas to grow rotten or diluted. If you find peace in these teachings, ignore me, but don’t be surprised if your circumstances never change. For the rest of us: while said content might have dampened your perception of the subject, the underlying message doesn’t budge.

No matter who you are, however you decide to think about it, and whatever you decide to call it, the truth is set in stone:

Developing yourself is THE single most important thing you will ever do in your life.

It’s the table every dish sits upon. It’s the foundation obscured beneath the Earth, supporting everything visible on the surface. Perhaps you’ve never thought much about the topic at all, but I’ll aim to prove why you should.

Your life gets better when you get better. It won’t happen when your circumstances change, or when you finally “get lucky,” or when everyone finally understands you. The world is never going to mold itself to perfectly suit your needs and desires. It must be up to you to change- not for the world, but for yourself. With this idea in mind, here are some truths to consider.

1. No one is coming to save you.

Your life, and the way you think about it, is your responsibility. No teacher, parent, boss, or guru is going to show you the path forward. Without ownership, your future begins to drift. This is how people become bitter, resentful, and lost later in life- they never took agency, and they blame the world for it.

To combat this, write down one area of your life that feels out of your control. Ask yourself, “what is one action I can take to claim ownership over my situation?” This is the first step to mastery.

2. Tiny actions build discipline. Discipline builds confidence.

It’s a common belief that confidence comes from achievements, attention, or compliments. In reality, this concept is completely backwards. Confidence comes from doing what you said you would do, even when it’s hard. Keeping a promise to yourself in this manner strengthens your self-trust. Skipping a promise weakens it. Author James Clear put it best, noting how:

“…every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”

Build an identity you can rely on, and the rest will fall into place.

How can you start today? Think of a 2-minute task you can do everyday in support of a new identity. This could be 2 minutes of journaling, meditating, flossing, or core workouts- whatever adds a vote towards being the type of person who would do such a thing. Do it for seven days. Every vote counts. Watch the votes pile up until the scales tip in your favor.

3. Over time, discipline builds freedom.

In nearly every aspect of life, an interesting paradox reveals itself: setting rules for yourself creates inner freedom. Be diligent with your finances and live below your means, then watch your debt drop to zero as you slowly pay it off. Build a system for making it to the gym every weekday without fail, and a healthier you will have 250 workouts under the belt within the first year. Set standards for what you expect in your relationships, and form a support network of incredible people that uplift you.

What’s the alternative? Failing to prioritize discipline is effectively handing the reins to your natural instincts. Whatever is immediately pleasurable is what you pursue. Think of the sources that provide instant gratification in your life, be it video games, sweet treats, alcohol, et cetera. While hints of these sources make for a worthwhile reward on occasion, it goes without saying that pursuing them constantly will destroy your long-term health. In addition, these desires provide empty, fleeting pleasure- only to demand more from you each time you allow it your attention. I challenge you to find any element of freedom in being chained to your biology’s desires. It’s a vicious cycle, but it only takes one decision to break it.

4. Your future self depends on you.

Right now, you’re building the person you’re going to become at 40, 50, 60, and beyond. Your everyday actions compound over time. Every choice, every repetition, every tough conversation, every tiny improvement, stacks. An inch per day toward your dreams is thirty feet per year, a football field per decade. Your future self isn’t a distant stranger, or a fictional character. They’re built by the way you show up today, and tomorrow, and the next day. Create a life that makes your future self grateful for the choices you made every day.

So, why bother to learn about self-development?

Your life won’t get any better on its own. YOU must choose to become better, and everything else follows. Your relationships, your career opportunities, your self-esteem, your health, and your courage, all rise and fall to the standard you set for yourself. You don’t need a radical overhaul for your life, you don’t need to be perfect, and you don’t need to “become a new person”. You simply need to improve one tiny piece at a time, do it consistently, and see what happens.

You start at your altitude, but trajectory is everything. So aim high, and give a shit, because it matters. In fact, if it’s the foundation for all other aspects of your life, it might be the only thing that matters in the first place.

So yes, please bother.

-KPG